Hi all, thanks for sticking around and/or coming back.  I know it’s been a long time between posts again and I’m super inconsistent here.  For anyone interested in following the more consistent and brief meanderings of bloomingpoppies, feel free to follow me here .

 

So my original plan, several months ago,  for getting right to work in my new studio, excitedly creating new designs and approaching my studio door each day with inspiration and energy,  didn’t actually materialize as I had hoped.   I am finding that the life I have more or less allowed to materialize for myself, the one where I am on autopilot each day with all the many necessities of life as a mom of three active kiddos, and putting everyone else first, has become acceptable and most of the time just about all I can handle.   I find that I am lacking the inspiration and energy for my work that used to be so strong and unstoppable.  Have I just gotten older? Have I given up on this dream? Have I allowed my chronic pain to get the better of me!!?  Not sure, however I’m unwilling to accept any of those things as a reality or “justification” anyway, so perhaps the questions aren’t  necessary.   What I do know for certain is that all along, while I’m not actually creating, and I’m seriously entrenched in a wholly different life and world, the glimmer of excitement over design, color, textile, and pattern that so frequently pops into my brain gives me hope…….hope that that piece of me still exists, that I can continue to stoke the fires of what lives down deep and honor that integral part of who I am.  I adore being the mom to my girls and I feel so grateful to be able to do it full time.  At the same time, I adore the creative process, working with fabric and color, having something that is mine and sacred to me, etc.  Can I fully embrace both worlds? Can a healthy balance be achieved?  Can I successfully find a way to love and honor my children and love and honor myself and my heart, needs, passions,  at the same time?  I’m pretty sure this answer is YES.  I’ve done it before, and I realize that honoring myself is honoring my children.  As for many moms, I am working on the ability to wholeheartedly claim my right to have something that is mine, something that feeds me in a different place than motherhood can, but without the feelings of guilt about not “being or doing enough” for my family”.  Thankfully, the fog is lifting, I feel a sense of emergence toward this balance,  growing strength in my creative process,  and a faint glimmer of inspiration.  However for me, it’s something I need to fight hard for EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!  I know this is a struggle for many humans, not just the ones who are moms.   Let’s shake it up, put ourselves higher on that ever-present priority list, and most importantly, continue to love and forgive ourselves and each other in the process!

The following photos I took on my recent trip to NYC.  My daughter and I spent 5 weeks there and one of my more reflective opportunities was on a solo day trip to the Cloisters Museum.  I found much inspiration and serenity here…..thought I’d share!

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Thank you for getting all the way through my somewhat self indulgent post today. With love and gratitude…..

Karen

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