I want to send a big thanks out to those who commented on my last post. I generally try to respond to each individually but just couldn’t manage it this last week. We had a quite a bout with a nasty and persistent stomach bug around here. Just when daughter #3 was getting better, daughter #2 woke up with it!! On top of that, my husband and I both felt like we were fighting it all week. Fingers crossed and I think we are all on solid and “bug free” ground again!!
While I’m on the subject of health however, maybe it’s a good time to share with you all some personal and difficult information. It’s sometimes hard for me to feel into exactly how much I should/feel comfortable sharing here. But I realize that in some way, sharing, even with “strangers”(I don’t really feel like many of you are stangers-you know who you are) could be beneficial to my process of healing. I consider myself to be a really healthy person; I’m an active mother of three who is very busy and leads a pretty full life. Like many of us women/moms, I find myself putting my children and their needs first, and frankly the needs of just about everyone else in my life….. I’m certain I’m not the only mama who does that. Well, as admirable as they may seem, I have recently had a clear realization that that way of life is not serving me or my family! I have been dealing with chronic and intense pain in my legs and hips along with frequent and severe headaches for a few years now. This condition has only been getting worse over the last year!! After having my last baby, our third all natural, home delivery, Miss N who weighed in at 10lb. 4oz, I think my body just went… “uncle” and has been asking me to slow down and respect it, ever since!!
What does that mean? Well, right now it means less time sewing/quilting/blogging and more time going to various appointments with every type of healer/doctor/herbalist, etc imaginable. It also means spending more time at my local yoga studio and getting back on the hiking trails more often (I have been told recently that running is likely not a good thing for my body-dissappointing). I have made a firm commitment to myself that I matter and that my physical and emotional health are both incredibly important to the health and well-being of my family, not to mention the obvious-me! If you have been reading this blog for a couple of years now, you may know that I have struggled occasionally, as we all likely do, with finding a balance between family, life obligations and quilting, or any creative endeavor for that matter. What has made that struggle easier however, is this constant pain that is becoming quite debilitating and at the same time nagging and “loud” for me. It is not going to go away without me stopping to address it. “Damn it, listen to me” it seems to be saying! And so I hear the call…. finally.
SO, why am I telling you all this? well, not sure exactly except that this blog and my work with quilting/creating is very important to me. I have enjoyed getting to know many of you frequent visitors and appreciate the inspiration and encouragement I gain from you. I have no plans to stop quilting or blogging however my health and family are my absolute #1 priority right now. I will be busy creating this summer here and there and will pop in to blog about it at times. My hope though for the summer is to get a handle on this pain and create a new and healthy rhythm for myself so that ultimately I can create/quilt/blog more that ever come this fall. That is my intention and I need to “speak” it in writing to you all in order to help me achieve that.
If you’ve made it this far down and have actually read this entire post, thank you! I know posts with pretty photos of quilts are much more fun to read, but this felt like one that needed to be written and I simply didn’t want to add photos to. I appreciate your readership and support and I wish you all a lovely and health filled summer!!!
***I realize it may be helpful to know where I am in my process of healing. Not only is the pain itself simply exhausting, it’s the not knowing why it’s there and how to help it go away that feels really scary. I mean I can’t possibly live like this forever……. can I? Anyway, a few years back, before this even got this bad, I had an MRI done, nerve testing done, lab tests for RA and lupus….. all came back fine and normal, with a possible small issue in my spine which I am now revisiting. I was under the care of a respected Naturopath who got my adrenals back on track but didn’t know what to do with my leg pain??? I have tried cranio-sacral therapy, which I love but didn’t seem to address the issue, I’ve tried traditional physical therapy- no luck! I’ve tried being on a consistent walk/run program to get my legs strong and active- great but not changing the pain in any way. Currently I am under the care of an extremely intuitive and holistic chiropractor in town and she is hopeful for results but admits that I am a challenging “case”. Yes, I’ve heard that one before- ha!! 🙂 So it isn’t as if I’ve been ignoring my health entirely, it’s just that I haven’t been dealing with it head on and with a solid conviction to change it, until very recently. Just wanted to give you that piece in hopes that this story might make a little more sense!! *****